About 8 months ago I was talking to her on the phone, when it occurred to me that she was ‘late’.  Now I knew she was on Birth control and I asked her about it and she said has always been a bit irregular and this was nothing unusual.  Brushing that aside I jokingly spent the next several weeks making fun of her and assuring her she was pregnant every chance I got.  I did this to annoy her and every time she told me to knock it off and laughed with that wonderful smile that I have grown to love so much. 

It was Sunday morning and as usual I got up, did a few things, and tried to let her sleep in.  I snuck back in and gave her a little nudge told her I loved her and that I was off to get her coffee.  She looked up and said “you know that thing you have been talking about?” Now keep in my mind I talk a lot and I joke a lot so I nodded my head like I knew what she was talking about as she said “I think its true”.  Now I feel like an idiot because I have just acknowledged that I knew what she was talking about and now what ever it is ‘I’ was talking about is apparently true. 

Decisions and actions including but not limited to acknowledging your GF when you don’t know what she is talking about, creates circumstances, usually referred to as consequences.  In my life I have had many consequences both good and bad as a result of decisions I made.  Sometimes they have been very good consequences.  My son was an accident, but it has been the best time of my life.  I have struggled but looking back at every struggle the end result was an amazing outcome. 

That Sunday morning when I got back from getting coffee and that Box from the grocery store that cost $19.99, I found myself wondering what ‘if’.  By the way those Tests suck, she peed on the first one and it was defective, it did not change.  The 2^nd one after many tears turned to a big + sign.  But being who I am I wanted to make sure so I convinced her to go pee again.

I have not blogged in a while and have debated this particular one with myself over and over.  The decisions we had to make were heart wrenching and so emotionally charged that I can honestly say we both broke.  We have both always said and demonstrated we were pro-life.  Of course when you are on 2 forms of Birth Control and 40 years old you believe you will never be ‘called’ on what you believe. 

We spent weeks discussing what to do, and we both were having second thoughts about decisions made the day before only to make new ones and then second guess the new decisions.  The drive lasted only about an hour but it seemed like a lifetime full of finger pointing, hurt feelings, and anger.  The building looked like a prison, surrounded in a dark sheet with razor wire across the top.  With no clear indication where the entrance was we pulled over, on one side of the building.  The anger and hurt filled the air as we got out, the hurt in both of our eyes beckoning the other to listen.   

It’s been 9 months or according to her a lifetime and I am very proud, excited, and nervous about the decision we made.  I think tomorrow or at least in the next 2 days we will be holding our new little son and I would not second guess or change this decision for anything or anyone.  Happy Birthday son!

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As the seconds turned to minutes, I remember looking at her and laughing to myself.   I grabbed the thing and through the thing out.   “Go pee again Honey” I said as we opened another one.  The things look like a popsicles in that plastic wrap by the way, no sooner had she gone in did she come out with 1 very legible + sign in the window.  To add to the frustration of having to even use the damn thing I looked in the trash to see what the first one said, Dang it.  It was a giant and very legible + sign that happened to be late in appearing.  The whole ‘Late’ thing was becoming too frequent.     

You see there are 3 of those tests in a box and I guess 2 out of 3 that show a + sign is Mr. EPT’s way of saying “Hey you, yeah you, the middle age couple standing in the living room looking at me.  Can’t you read the big Plus sign you morons?  How in the world did you two get knocked up at your age?”  As he stares at us with a + sign on his head.  

Now we all know how it happened, it was something in the water at our favorite hangout so there is no need to go into detail.  But we both looked at each other in what can only be described as pure shock and disbelief.  We had spent months  talking about waiting until next year to get married and the reasons why, we both agreed that it  was a very well thought out, grown up, adult decision.   I mean, the past several years I have just gotten to the point where I can sit on the Toilet seat and guess what, “its dry!”

I have spent a lot of time just dating, and for once as I look back dating the same girl for a year and half I have realized it took a lot of dating and self searching to find the one that was right for me.  Never in a million years, as I look back to the night at a reunion, did I think I would I be still with her.  However, while I knew as time passed that there would be a point that we would be getting married.  However, having another little one never crossed my mind.  By the way the Doctor at Kaiser, says the expensive and very politically correct commercials about the effectiveness of birth control is just that, it’s a commercial, its crap.  The reality is that it is about 75 percent effective and they are just there to sell you a pill……  Go figure!   

They say Life is never certain, plans change, and sometimes throws you curves.  I guess all I can say to that is this.  We have not planned for this curve in the road and never saw it in the parenting map and honestly we have no idea where this road leads.  But so far we love the road trip that we are on together and look forward to many more curves ahead to share with our boys and our new son.   Regardless where it turns, intersects, or ends we have always planned on doing the journey together.  We both realize that just before the curves that there may be speed bumps and all sorts of hazards, problems, and rewards but our commitment to do it together is what makes the journey a wonderful thing that neither one of us has experienced before. 

© All Rights Reserved 2010

We do not watch a lot of television in our household and I do my best to make sure he does not watch things that are inappropriate.  Now this episode was on at 9 and it was his last evening of being able to stay up late as he was scheduled to start school yesterday and his bedtime is 830 so this was the final hoorah!  Now my girlfriend told me about this TV commercial by FLO TV which just before the episode started came on and shows a mom cooking dinner, the husband comes in after a long day of work and the kids are asking if they can have milk and water or something like that.  The Mom turns, looks at the clock and throws the bowl of cereal on one child, the other child’s plate on the floor and dumps a bag of something all over the children and the table.  She stops and turns to her Husband and says I just need and hour and walks off to watch her own personal FLO TV Device.  Seriously this is a great start to a family TV show or at least a PG rated TV show. 

But it gets better, so the show starts and in this particular episode he his trying his survival skills out on a desert island somewhere in the Pacific.  About half way through the show, we are playing a game of chess during the episode and as my son says EEWWW and covers his eyes I hear the word Enema come from the TV.  As I look up the host is explaining and demonstrating how you can hydrate yourself with rancid water by giving yourself and enema.  His lower half of the body blurred out as he takes a tube and pop bottle that had washed up on shore and begins to, well you know give himself an enema.  No sooner do I change the channel than I hear my son ask me, “Dad what is a em-a-em-a-nam-m-na?”.

Between the commercial and the  em-a-em-a-nam-m-na scene I have to wonder what Television, especially TLC has come to.  I can see it now, My son sitting at the table dumping his Milk on his sisters forehead, turning to his mom and saying I just need an hour so I can go practice surviving by using an  em-a-em-a-nam-m-na!  Thanks TLC! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47-6ww9UUbU   FLO TV Commercial

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I have been a Dad for 9 years, I remember my ex wife, when my son was less than 6 months old, calling me in the room saying “look its big”!  And obviously the wind blew just right and my 6 month old had a hard on.  By the way moms, Dads are not impressed by this and we can do with out knowing that their little boy has a hard on, at least at that age.  Now don’t get me wrong, I know there is a flip side to this as well.  If you have a Daughter you don’t have to deal with this, instead as a parent you have to worry later in life about a million Dick’s and I have only 1.  So glad I have a son! 

Anyways, my GF several weeks ago called me up to ask some questions about boys.  Now again I have only been a Dad for 9 years of a son and have not had to have “The Talk” yet!  I mean come on he is 9, I at least waited until I was 14.  Anyways, her 10 year old son took a moment to tell her that he needed to talk to her about something and that he did not want to talk to her about it.  She explains to me that she pressed for a bit more information only to get this response!  “Mom…  I have been getting these raging Boners, and it is about 4ft. Long”  As she is telling me this I can tell she is horrified, and me being a guy, I am laughing my ass off.  I ask her if she has noticed anything white or sticky in her ‘very cute Thongs’ and she proceeds to hang up the phone. 

After the argument about my inappropriate comment I offer to be the guy that listens to his questions and explains some answers.  I figure what the hell, might as well have a practice conversation about sex before I talk to my son about it.  Why mess my kid up?  If I can mess someone else’s kid up and learn not what to say before I say it to my kid why would I not want to take the opportunity?  Makes sense to me.

So after a week or so she calls her Son’s Father up and explains the issue at ‘hand’ or is it ‘in Hand’?  He states that he does not want to talk to him about it and that she should find someone else to do it.  Dads, if you are in this position and think you can do it intelligently ‘Man’ up and have the conversation.  Anyways, so after a Day or so, her son talks to his father and he seems to be satisfied with the results.  Her ex-husband calls my GF and says “I spoke with him and explained it to him!”

Now before I tell you what he said, the important thing to note is this.  There is no need to explain in great detail to young kids exactly what they are going through and why.  There are delicate and appropriate ways to do it.  With that said! , Here is what he told my GF that he said to his son (verified by the 10 year old) , “Men get Boners because they have to put in the moms pussy to make a baby”.  In this case I think the school would have been better at handling this conversation.   

Here is a great book for parents and how to have “The Talk’; How & When to Tell Your Kids About Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones   

© All Rights Reserved 2009

There was an article in our local paper stating that our School District has added about 985 students to this years student body, with my son’s School seeing the highest level of increased enrollment.   It seems that no matter the economy new students are added to school districts Nation wide.  I started to think about what that meant for class sizes at our school and how the larger classes may impact those students.

Last week, my son had about a million boys over playing Lego’s and Army.  It was an unusually larger crowd than normal.  Along with this large group of guests came a little more added stress and responsibility for me as the designated supervisory parent.   Now can you imagine having a 15 percent increase in the size of your 1^st grade class?  Along with that increase comes no increase in class room funding, textbooks, or class time? 

Let me ask you this, when you buy a bicycle helmet for your kid, or a motorcycle helmet for your spouse. Do you spend the least amount of money on the cheapest quality helmet to protect the one you love?  When you hire a day care provider, do you hire the cheapest, most unqualified, and least licensed professional to take care of your kids?  When you pick a healthcare provider, do you choose the Doctor with a one room office and a license from ACME Medical School?  Of course not, and if you do you’re a Moron and should not be a parent.  So why would we not want to pay the very best teachers the best salary?  Teachers do all of the above, they are the day care provider when you’re late to pick up the kids!  They are the Doctor on the playground when they fall off the slide, and they are the guardian that is supposed to protect them while they are at school.   They are not just teachers so why not pay them as if they are as important as the doctor that makes them feel better when they are sick.

I will be the first one to point out that not every teacher should, be a teacher.  Not every teacher deserves across the board raises or 75k a year with out conditions of performance.  But there are a lot of teachers across the Nation that deserve, more than $35,000.00 dollars a year.  I hope you think about this next time you are late picking up your kid after school! 

I off to eat a Mexican Hot dog, recipe is below.  My son and his friend love these. 

6 Beef hot dogs

6 buns

1 cup chopped Onion

1 Tomato Diced

Mayo

Mustard

Ketchup

1 can of Hot Chili Beans (Drained and heated)

Favorite Hot Sauce

Bacon

Shredded Cheese 

Wrap each Beef dog in Bacon and cook in skillet until bacon is golden (rotating often)!  Open buns ¾ of the way so that they remain connected.  Line insides with Mayo and lay Hot Dog in the pocket of the Bun.  Generous Strip of Mustard down one side, Ketchup Down the other with hot sauce down the middle.  Top with onions, tomatoes, and Cheese and cover lightly with Hot Chili Beans and enjoy. 

© All Rights Reserved 2009

Its Saturday about 130 PM and we are on a lunch break.  We are not even a thousand pieces into this project and we have been working on it since about 900 AM this morning.  We have carefully thought out where the brig, battle emplacements, cannons, laser guided missiles, and landing pad will be.  We have walls of the inner city and outside walls of the fort completed.  We were working on one of long range cannons and as we tried to put a piece on we both dropped it and it the whole thing broke apart.  For a moment we looked at it and stared back at each other.  There was a brief moment of silence, and we both started laughing.  He shrugged his shoulders and he said “That’s OK, we will just pick up the pieces and start over”!

As parents we know that in the world of Lego’s this is a relatively simple task to do.  You just simply and literally lean over, pick the pieces up, and start building what ever it is you were trying to build.  Can you imagine if real life were that simple?  A death of a loved one, a failing marriage, or broken friendship, what if all you had to do was pick the pieces up and put them all back together.   Just like Lego’s you could take the person in your marriage who is faltering and just snap them back into place, in the exact position they were in a year before?  A little child’s broken heart, you could just snap a new one in and make him feel good as new. 

My GF littlest boy is hurt by the divorce his Mom and Dad have gone through.  The other day he was so sad, and I asked him what was wrong he looked at me and said nothing as little tears welled up in his eyes.  I told him that I thought he may be a little sad, and I asked him why.  He shrugged his shoulders and started crying as he said “I don’t know why I am sad”. 

Failed marriages, broken friendships, and just about any other problem in real life is so to deal with sometimes.  As much as we want to we can’t just pick up the pieces and move on.  Until you cry a little, or are mad for a while, talk about it, the pieces will never go back together.  Even when you do these things the pieces sometimes never go back exactly like they were before. 

I turned back to my son, looking at him struggling with the pieces of the cannon we had dropped.  Watching as he tried to make them go back together just like they were.  His frustration building, as he looked to me for help.  I smiled in relief that it was just a long range Lego Cannon.  Luckily he has not had to learn just yet that in Life, sometimes the pieces never go back together once you have broken them.   

© All Rights Reserved 2009

Our school district has been talking about their plans to update rooms and prepare students for the 21^st Century.  The problem is exactly that, the ‘Plan’ part.  Technology moves so fast that essentially our district and many others like it are simply trying to play catch up with no real ‘Plan’ for the future or how to meet the educational demands of our students.  Planning for the past has always been one of the great detriments to our education system.  We continue to buy outdated materials, textbooks, and teach outdated subjects.  As a school system we should be spending money to buy the technology that will save money in the future and that will benefit our students now. 

Case In Point:

The Britannica Encyclopedia set in my sons school that I referenced is a lot of money to replace.  http://www.encyclopediacenter.com/encyclopedia-britannica-2007.html   The set was $700.00 + $50.00 for shipping.  You can buy two students a lap top that will surf the net and get all the information online with that money.  You can order the online version of Britannica for a school the size of my sons and it is updated daily, provides media clips, personal websites for students, teacher resources and curriculum that is also updated daily and meets state required test and educational requirements.  When a school buys it also includes unlimited remote access, for students, parents, and teachers all for 390.00 a year.    Far less than encyclopedia hard copy that only one student can use at a time.  For a district of our size it would cost about $7500.00 for the same features.

And yes for all of those concerned about students that do not speak English they offer it in 30 different languages which, is included in the price.  Its time that teachers and school officials start looking at ways to better provide a real time, real world education for our children.  We should invest for their future, and not pay money for things of the past.    

I included a link to an article from a blogger who is guest writing editorials for CNN about what to possibly expect next year, if he is even close to being right!  Our school districts 21^st Century Plan will be outdated by next summer.  Technology saves school money, time, and improves the experience of learning and results.  We hear over and over again about how we need to save money, I just showed 1 thing that took 2 minutes on the internet and a less than 4 minutes on the phone with the sales representative for our state.  I asked her this question!  “If this is cheaper, faster, better, updated daily, and complies with state standards, why is not in wider use?”  Her response was this, “Teachers and School Officials just don’t get it!”  This is unfortunate because our children get it! 

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/12/10/cashmore.realtime.web/index.html

1 whole Turkey or Chicken with Neck, Liver, Heart and/or Gizzards removed

½ Cup Garlic Infused Grape Seed Oil

1 Orange Bell Pepper                    

1 Green Bell Pepper      

1 Yellow Bell Pepper

1 Jalapeño

1 Cup of Onion

6 Celery Stalks

½ Lbs. Peppered Bacon Thick

1 Habanero Pepper

Crushed Pepper

1 Clove of Garlic              

1 Lemon

Remove Seeds from all peppers, place in bowl and add Grape Seed Oil and set aside.  Dice all bell peppers into small ½ inch cubes and place in mixing bowl.  Finely Dice, Jalapeño and Halbanero and add to Bell Peppers.  Finely Dice onion and add to Bell Peppers.  Mince Garlic and add all but a small 18 tsp or so of garlic to Bell Peppers.  Add remaining garlic to grape seed oil.  Add 2 tsp of Crushed Black pepper to grape seed oil.  Add Crushed Black to Bell Peppers (to Taste) Cut Bacon into 1 inch strips and add to Bell Pepper mixture.

Gently sprinkle some lemon juice onto Bell Pepper Mixture.  Repeat and add lemon to Grape Seed Oil Mixture.  Add 4 cubes of Celery (1 TBLSP) and 5 cubes of onion (1tsp.).  Toss Bell Pepper Mixture until thouroghly Mixed and set aside.

Place Chicken or Turkey in cooking pan cut light ¼ inch deep cuts into breasts and legs, the length of the bird.  Puree grape seed oil Mixture until foamy and frothy and set aside.  Loosely stuff body cavity (both Ends) with Bell Pepper Mixture.   Lightly Salt and Pepper outside of Bird working the salt and pepper into the cuts.  Now lightly baste outside of Bird with Grape Seed Oil, lightly salting again.  Cook at instructed temperature Until Thermometer has popped out or Bird has been at 190 Degrees (using Meat Thermometer) for 30 mins.  About every half hour for Chicken or every hour for Turkey baste outside of bird with additional Grape Seed Oil. 

When Done Remove Bird from oven to cool, lightly sauté stuffing mixture in 1tblsp of Grape Seed Oil for about 4 mins.  Then serve on side or on top of meat. 

© All Rights Reserved 2009

He explained what happened and now I am furious!  This is what the report said.  My son, 1 other boy and a girl (names omitted due to privacy) were referred to the principal’s office for trying to organize a girl’s against boy’s game of tag.  In the report the Box was checked that that their actions were not ‘respectful’ and my son had to write down what he thought was a good punishment for his part in this horrible event.  He wrote “I should miss recess” He also had to write why it was not respectful and he wrote the following; “It is not fair for the girls”.

After reading this I turned to him and he immediately saw the anger in my eyes and told me how sorry he was.  I looked at him and told him that I would talk to his principal about it.  I asked him to stay there while I dealt with this crime of the century.

Have teachers and parents really gotten to the point where a game of girls against boys tag is something a student or students should be sent to the principal’s office for.  I mean we have taken dodge ball away, the pledge of allegiance for all practical purposes is never said, we now refer to ‘Christmas Vacation’ as Holiday Break, our district has taken valuable class time away from English speaking students to teach them Spanish in the name of social integration on the playground.   The kids when it snows are not allowed to go outside for recess any more because some students refuse to wear or do not have appropriate clothing and the kids that do, now get the joy of sitting in the hallway for recess on snow days.  . 

What ever happened to girls can do just as well as boys, when did it become OK, to send kids to the principal’s office for something so ridiculous.  Talk about a self esteem breaker, sitting in the principal’s office next to Little Johnny who got in a fight on the playground as they are both handed a pink slip.  How can that possibly be fair.

I think it is wrong, I think the teacher was wrong in what she did, how she acted and should apologize to my son for being a for how she handled this.  There is nothing wrong with Tag, boys against girls, coed what ever, how many activities can you possibly eliminate from recess or PE.  Instead of calling it PE Class they should call it SOYA which stands for Sit On Your Ass and do nothing class.

When I came back I turned to my little boy and told him I was not angry with him, and him telling me the truth meant everything in the world to me, and that even though I thought what they did to him was wrong.  He needed to make sure he did not do it again. 

Now to the teacher, are you really that bored?  Can you take anything else away from our kids, maybe we should stop letting them play basket ball because not all kids are tall enough to play.  Or maybe the girls should sit out every other PE class so that boys and girls do not play together at all.  We would not want girls and boys to ever think that they might be better than someone of the opposite sex or lose to a member of the opposite sex.  What you did was wrong inappropriate and disrespectful to both girls and boys and more importantly hurt the feelings of a little boy who just wanted to play tag against some girls.  Shame on you!      

© All Rights Reserved 2009

As we concluded our conference she, explains a little bit about what’s going on with CSAP and the fact our school is a candidate for the IB program.  Our school is classified as a Bilingual school part of being an IB school is focusing on Bilingual education.  However, their idea of Bilingual is completely different than mine.  It’s more of an accommodation school for kids who can’t or will not learn English.  They provide classes for those students, referred to as English Language Learners, in Spanish and have no real incentive for those students to learn English.   

Now at the end of our conference, the teacher asks if my son has told me about the ‘New’ opportunity he has to learn a second language.  I already knew where this is going, but I wait patiently for her ‘Pitch’ and then it became all so clear.  What this new ‘New Opportunity’ really is designed to do is teach English Speaking kids Spanish so that the School District does not have to deal with the political and social stigma of actually asking or telling someone they need to learn English.  My son’s ‘New Opportunity’ is that he is required to leave his core studies, 2 hours a week and learn Spanish.  Now this in no way is my sons Teachers Fault.  This is a decision within the district and/or by his principal, AKA her Boss.  My sons teacher is a great teacher! 

As educators and teachers the importance of providing 2 hours a week on Computers, or learning where Australia is never even comes up.  This is not about being Bilingual this is about a societies and education systems unwillingness to say you should learn English.  Can you imagine the firestorm if a school said you have to learn English to move on to the next grade?  If you offer 2nd grade classes Spanish speaking children in Spanish, then offer CSAP in Spanish, and when they graduate, continue to cater to the language barrier there is never an incentive to learn anything other than Spanish.  They have no reason to, every thing is in Spanish.  So why go the extra mile and learn English?   

Rather than teaching my son Spanish as a required course maybe they could offer multiple language courses if second language instruction is really what they want to offer.  But more importantly maybe they should focus on teaching our children the basics such as Math, Science, Reading, and Writing so that they can succeed in finding a job.  It does not matter if you can speak a million languages, if you can’t add, or you do not know what the make up of water is, who cares what language you can say “I don’t know!” in. 

 So I guess I look at it this way!  At least under the current structure of our education system particularly in our little hometown there is one benefit for the other student not to learn English.  My son and his ELL student counter will at least both be able to say “I do not know the answer because know one ever taught me how to add!” in Spanish.    

© All Rights Reserved 2009 – 2010